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03/10/06--09:13: Friday, March 10, 2006 (chan 1812461)

hey all well i dont know what to write...i didnt see josh last night..he went to hang out with some friends he hasnt seen in awhile...but he called me to tell me this ..ok no actually he texted britts phone and said hey sexy lol and she told him that i would call him later and then i did...i hope he had fun ...this weekend is gonna be crazy ,...mom and dad are going out on a date tonight ...weird iknow ...but its cool...we have the house to ourselves ....then tomorrow i dont know whats going down ...but sunday me mom and josh (maybe britt and robs) are going to Grapevine Mills Mall and josh is gonna skate in the skatepark and we're gonna shop lol (hopefully)...hehehehe...im kinda excited to watch josh skate again...he kicks so much ass and billys (my new found uncle lol) is gonna try to help him get sponsered...hehehe ummm lets see what else has happened ..oh yeah britt me and mom made moms car go airbourne lol...britt was driving and the road seriously just fucking ended(dude theres no way to make something that dumb up lol)..it was scary at the time but fucking hilarious now...britts still shaky but shes just in shock...she'll be ok ...i swear i saw my life fly past lol ...i was thinking afterwards...."I CANT DIE NOW..THERES SO MANY MORE PEOPLE I NEED TO PISS OFF"...hahaha well im gonna go ill talk to yall later

LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY (thats for a very special certain someone)

~Esha~




03/10/06--14:16: Friday, March 10, 2006 (chan 1812461)

HAHAHA YES THE SONG OF THE MOMENT IS BACK!!!!!

ANGEL
Live In My House
I'll Be Your Shelter
Just Pay Me Back
With One Thousand Kisses
Be My Lover - I'll Cover You

COLLINS
Open Your Door
I'll Be Your Tenant
Don't Got Much Baggage

To Lay At Your Feet
But Sweet Kisses I've Got To Spare
I'll Be There - I'll Cover You

BOTH
I Think They Meant It
When They Said You Can't Buy Love
Now I Know You Can Rent It
A New Lease You Are, My Love,
One Life - Be My Life

Just Slip Me On
I'll Be Your Blanket
Wherever - Whatever - I'll Be Your Coat

ANGEL
You'll Be My King
And I'll Be Your Castle

COLLINS
No You'll Be My Queen
And I'll Be Your Moat

BOTH
I Think They Meant It
When They Said You Can't Buy Love
Now I Know You Can Rent It
A New Lease You Are, My Love
On Life

All My Life
I've Longed To Discover
Something As True As This Is

COLLINS / ANGEL
So With A Thousand / If You're Cold
Sweet Kisses / And you're lonely
And I'll Cover You
With A / You've Got One
Sweet Kisses / Nickel only
I'll Cover You

When You're Worn / With a thousand sweet kisses
Out And Tired / I'll cover you

When Your Heart / With a thousand sweet kisses
Has Expired / I'll cover you

BOTH
Oh Lover I'll Cover You
Oh Lover I'll Cover You
 

FROM RENT

THANKS ROBS FOR THE HOTTEST LAYOUT EVER!!! LOVE YOU GIRLY!!!




03/15/06--12:28: Wednesday, March 15, 2006 (chan 1812461)

hey all...whats up?? hmm lets see what been going on umm...robin came over for the weekend she got here on friday ...we just chilled friday night...then on sat ...robs ...britt and ben went to 6 flags...my knee was fucked up and i wouldnt have made it around 6 flags so i didnt go...but i hung out here with dad then they came home and robs and i made a trip to MC D's at 11 pm cuz we were having late night food cravings lol on the way back ...we almost turned into a field and then we almost hit a car or ditch lol it was fun...then on sunday ...britt, robs, mom, johnny, scott, josh and i went to grapevine ...josh and the guys went to the skatepark...and did there thing...and us girls just walked around ...then after that we all except johnny and scott went to my moms house and chilled..played some pool...then mom brought britt and robs back and me and josh stayed there with billy and marilyn..billy and josh got some beer and started drinking ...josh drank alittle to much and paid for it after ...he was so cute lol ..he came in my moms room with me when i went to get online and he laid his head on one of my legs and cuddled with the other one and i rubbed his head until he fell asleep....then it was time to leave so i woke him up and got him in the car and then we brought him home he called me up about 30 mins after and tells me that he threw up and he feels better lol...why he did that??? i have no clue ....then i went to his house on monday night and watched movies with him and bj...then he came over here last night and stayed with me untillike 1 am ...hehehe we have the whole weekend planned and guess what??? WE'RE DOING EVERYTHING TOGETHER!!!..i cant wait...he also told me last night that he wrote me a letter which kinda made me think but he said it was good...i dunno but things are going great ...

ummm bill and i have decided that friendship is best ..yeah of course i will always love him but i dunno...this is best i guess ...Billy ... ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY!!!

ummm heather and rob are getting married june 10th now...hehehe i cant wait ...im still looking for dresses to help her out lol ...ilove it ...even though im far away doesnt mean that i cant do my MOH duties hehehe i love you heather...i promise i wont tell rob that your using him to get closer to me lol...**GIGGLES**

umm britt left on monday...yeah i miss her like crazy bad but i hope shes having a kick ass time...she needed to get away ...i love you sissy see you sunday

well all i think im gonna go...ill talk to you all later...

LOVE YOU ALL ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY!!
~Esha~




03/21/06--11:44: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 (chan 1812461)

ok for starters....STOP CALLING MY SISTER A WHORE AND DONT EVER FUCKING SAY YOU WANT HER TO KLLL HERSELF....GROW THE FUCK UP AND MOVE THE FUCK ON...

FUCKING DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!

but anyway lol on a happier note...i went to my mommas this weekend and josh stayed the weekend with me...it rocked...lets start from the beginning

FRI-did nothing...hung out...with myself lol ...then josh came over for a little ..then he went street skating...

SAT-mom came and got me like crazy early cuz i had counseling...and then we hung out ...but billy was bored and was like "alicia call your boyfriend and see where hes at so we can go pick him up ...so i can have someone to hang with"...ok for one josh isnt my boyfriend YET...(I JUST WANTED TO MAKE THAT CLEAR) lolthen mom and i picked him and johnny up and went back to mommas...they partyed it up with billy and yeah then scott came over and hung out for awhile then he and johnny had to leave...so we hung out the rest of the time with billy....josh and i slept together on the couch (not sexually) and when we woke up he sang to me lol..it was so sweet...

SUN- hung out with josh all day ...then johnny and scott came over again ...lol johnny hit on me YET AGAIN!!!...then he bit me the little bitch lol not once but TWICE..so now i have life his whole mouth imprint on my back and my arm...it hurts lol...then mom and josh talked for like  an hour ...about me!!!...mom told josh that i was falling for him and that im not gonna tell him that cuz i dont wanna push him ...josh told mom that hes afraid of getting hurt and that the best part of the whole weekend was being able to fall asleep with me there and wake up with me still there...( THATS THE SWEETEST THING EVER) then i thought josh was acting weird towards me and i had to go cuz my sister was gonna kill my dad if i didnt lol ...well i got into the car and josh came over and knocked on the window (scared the shit outta me)...i rolled down the window and he came through it and grabbed me and kissed me...IT WAS CRAZY!!!!!

OH AND WAIT ...GUESS WHAT YALL???....#13 on my list is complete....on my "things to have happen in 2006" list...#13 is KISS IN THE POURING RAIN!!!...I GOT IT...yall know how it was raining like crazy bad ...well shawn was like alicia its POURING...so i grabbed josh and brought him outta the garage and away from the pool table and got him in the rain and just made out with him lol...IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER!!!..im proud...

MON-nothing really...hung out with britt and josh came over ...actually me and shawn went and got him lol ......hehehe but nothing crazy happened...just another sweet awesome time with josh...everytime with josh is sweet and worth it..

well all im out and i love you all
BRITT I MISSED YOU AND IM SO GLAD YOUR HOME!!!...LOVE YOU SISSY

LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY
~Esha~




03/22/06--10:44: Wednesday, March 22, 2006 (chan 1812461)

well all theres just so much crap i wanna say but i cant...im gonna be honest..i never really believed in love LOVE ...but i know these two people...one made a mistake and has finally realized it and the other one is giving up...but i know deep down this person loves this other person with all there heart...so why arent they together???...Someone (my grandpa S) has always told me that "love" is something that has to be fought for...its something that is priceless...he also told me that Giving up on this thing called "love" isnt an option...it should never be given up...You should always give it a chance...so seeing these 2 people like this is breaking my heart...it shouldnt be like this...they have to try to make this work...and a very wise woman once told me that..."taking risks is actually worth it and if you dont take a risk youre always gonna be wondering WHAT IF"...yeah its true...in this case its majorly true...i guess the moral of this whole thing is...if you love someone dont give up on it...ALWAYS take the risk...dont always play it safe!!!

"Love is like a river, never ending as it flows, but gets greater with time!"
"Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."
"Love is a journey not a destination."
"When you have nothing left but love, then for the first time you become aware that love is enough."
"Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met."
"The bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before."
"If I could have one lifetime wish, one wish that would come true, I'd pray to God with all my heart, for yesterday...and you!"
"It's a horrible thing to see your lost love walk past you with another girl, and it's the worst thing to know that you made a mistake in letting him go."
"Don't ever give up if you still want to try, don't ever wipe your tears if you still want to cry. Don't ever settle for an answer if you still want to know. Don't ever say you don't love him if you can't let him go."

well i put that one in big font cuz its the one the fits the most...well all im gonna leave yall with that...love you all

LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY
~Esha~






03/24/06--06:05: Friday, March 24, 2006 (chan 1812461)

well all i dont really know where to begin ...yesterday was cool i hung out with dad all day cuz his back went out AGAIN!!!...then shawn came over for like 30 mins and just chilled...mom picked up britt from school and came and got me and josh...we went out for dinner...my family loves josh...every single one of them like him...britt thinks hes cool as hell and my mom thinks the sun rises and sets with him...dad likes him and thinks hes cool and ben picks on him and jokes with him...i guess things are coming together FINALLY!!! we hung out all night last night...i went to bed at like 1:30am and josh crashed on the couch...it was just amazing to hear how passionate he is about what he does...he was talking about skating and all i could do was sit there and stare at him...hmmm i dunno whats happening but i like it hehehehe....but anyway on with the rest, britts phone woke me up this morning ..and i went to go see if josh was up for work and yeah he was sitting right there..laughed at me cuz i looked tired ...so i went to go back to bed and he came in and goes HEY BABY!!! "good morning beautiful how was your night" i giggled  and he had to leave for work...that song so has a new meaning lol...but anyway ..i dunno what im gonna do today...probably just chill...and see if mom gets done work early...hopefully talk to my girl heather just cause i miss her...

also i just wanted yall to know that those quotes are so true and if they helped any of you im glad...and im gonna keep posting more that have some sort of meaning in my life...so here goes

" Follow your dreams and all that you ever thought of, shall follow you."

"A friend is someone who will walk the long way when you don't want to hop the fence."

"Though miles may lie between us, we're never far apart, for friendship doesn't count the miles, it's measured by the heart."

"I smiled to many people for more than a billion times; but when I first saw you, my heart took over and smiled for the first time."
 
"Where so ever you go, go with all your heart."

"With a thousand different voices ringing in my ear. Listen to the whisper only the heart can hear."

"You'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point where you thought it was the end."

 "Sometimes it's the things that you can't do, that bring out the brilliance of what you can!"

"Life would go on smoothly if we only knew what to do with it."

"Laughter is like a fresh new day, each giggle is the dawn of a new morning; brighten up your day and smile with laughter."

"Women are like telephones; They like to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong buttons you might get disconnected!"

"The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt."

"Don't say you love me unless you mean it because I might do something stupid...like believe it!"

"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control!"

"If it was love which made me fall for you...then I am still falling."

"If you're asking if I need you, the answer is forever. If you're asking if I will leave you, the answer is never. If you're asking what I value, the answer is you. If you asking if I love you, the answer is I DO."

"They say, 'A picture is worth a thousand words,' but when I saw yours, I was speechless."

well all i think thats enough for now...hope you like them...i love you all and if ANY of you need to talk at ANY time...yall got me...

LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY
~Esha~








 




03/27/06--12:37: Monday, March 27, 2006 (chan 1812461)

"Far Away"

This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

[CHORUS]

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go
Keep breathing
Hold on to me and, never let me go


03/29/06--08:02: Wednesday, March 29, 2006 (chan 1812461)

hey all...
well hmmm theres so much to talk about...not really but it sounded good at the time!!!..ummm lets see josh stayed the night on friday night cuz i took some crazy ass allergy shit and i couldnt go there..but he came over and stayed the night also because after he had to work on sat he was going away for the rest of the weekend and he wanted to spend time with me...lol i think he just felt bad cuz i was alone at the house cuz of allergies lol...well dad woke him up for work on sat and when he moved he elbowed me in the head lol...he felt really bad and apologized for like 30 mins but anyway i hung out with dad all day on sat then sunday mom and dad hung out and i took the car and went to billy and marilyns to chill ( gotta love them)...umm monday i didnt really do anything EXCEPT a really hot army recruiter (and i mean like crazy hot) came to talk to me about joining lol ...hahah no im NOT joining!!! josh said NO lol...umm yesterday i hung out with shawn for a little while and did joshs laundry (i guess i truely am whipped) lol jk...i did it to be nice...then last night britt, ben, bentley, BJ, Scott, Josh & I went bowling...that was cool ...i sucked my first game but my 2nd i was doing better...i was just happy to be able to finally see joshfor the 1st time in 3 friggin days...well the car ride home was the best thing EVER!!!...he laid  his head on my lap and i rubbed his back and he went to sleep for like a whole 5 mins lol ..then we were almost home and i realized that he was looking at me...so i was like what are you looking at??? and he goes you and i asked why and he said cuz theres so much i wanna say but i wont ...so he kinda left me hanging there lol ...well then we were play argueing about how he "supposedly" ALWAYS wins at anything he does lol ..i was like ok but i WILL beat you at something someday and we did the whole no yes no yes arguement..then he goes shut up and kiss me and he did the 2 hand face framing grab ( A COMBO BRITT!!! wooohooo) and he kissed me!!! it was awesome...i had alot of fun last night...umm then i got home and went in to talk to dad (which is an everynight ritual) and he said he sees that L word between us...i dunno about the L word thats just to fast for me...the L word means alot and if you dont mean it you should never say it...but yeah thats enough for me...im gonna get going ill talk to you all later and hope yalls days are kicking ass...here is my S.O.M (yes there back) lol

"A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More "Touch Me""

I confess, I{'m just} messed up
dropping "I'm sorry" like you're still around
And I know you dressed up
{said} "hey kid you'll never live this down"

And you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with
And I'm just the boy who's had too many chances

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

Write me off, give up on me
Cause darling, what did you expect
I'm just off a lost cause
a long shot, don't even take this bet

You can make all the moves, you can aim all the spotlights
Get all the sighs and the moans just right

I'm sleeping on your folk's porch again, dreaming
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?"

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

(always on, always on)
You said you'd keep me honest
(always on, always on)
But I won't call you on it
(always on, always on)

I don't blame you for being you
But you can't blame me for hating it
So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

FOB gotta love them!!!

LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY
~Esha~

PS...HAPPY 16th JEN (Barbie)...i love ya much girly and also HAPPY 17th TINI...i love you much sis and i miss you like crazy!!!!



 




04/06/06--06:54: Thursday, April 06, 2006 (chan 1812461)

well i noticed that ROBS updated...so i decided...hmmm i will too!!! its been so long its hard for me to remember...

last thursday- went out to dinner with my momma, britt and josh...went to walmart and bought a camera...just hung out with josh for the rest of the night (thats all i remember)

Last Friday- i have no clue..i really dont remember...but josh stayed the night

Saturday-josh got up and went to work...i stayed home and did nothing but sleep all day lol

Sunday- i hung out with momma...we went to the mall and then to walmart to get my pics (omg they rock ..check some of them out on www.myspace.com/eshabugg05 ) then josh called my mom and told her he was gonna kidnap me later on that night...He did!!! lol Scott, Johnny, Josh and I went to Freestyle and i took some crazy pics (i hope they come out good) then to whataburger for some food..then back home and josh and i hung out and he again spent the night lol BELIEVE ME I DONT MIND!!!

Monday- dad had drs appointments and i went with mom to keep her company...then i came home and did nothing...i dont remember if jash came over or not (WHOOPS) lol

Tuesday- i went to britts counseling appointment with her...then we went to walmart and i bought the new rascal flatts cd (FRIGGIN AMAZING) and i dropped off the freestyle pics...then we went to get britts hair done...sat there for 5 hours...it looks awesome...i love it...then we went to her mommas and i love mom lol...we had dinner and hung out for awhile then came home...but then momma called and dad and i brought some meds out to her...while i was gone Josh came to drop Ben off and he asked britt if i was here and britt told him that i was at mommas and josh was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (he missed me)...then he went out with the rest of the guys and went bowling...so i didnt get to see him on tuesday but he did call lol...

Yesterday-i got up and then shawn called and was like "get your ass ready...we're going swimming" i was like WHAT!?!?!?!....guess what???? I went swimming...and i froze my ass off lol...then shawn and i took ben to get his labrey pierced ...it looks pretty kick ass...then went to walmart..got some food while ben got this scary fish for his tank...then came home...hung out...watched brokeback mountain (AWESOME MOVIE) (and yes it is about gay cowboys) then watched ONE TREE HILL (Pete from FOB was on it) it was like major girl boner lol then finished brokeback mountain and then hung out with josh...he came over last night and was like "baby dont ever do that again"...i was like WTF did i do now??? and he goes "dont make me miss you" i did the whole aww thing..then he told me that my dad talked to him yet again about me and him (josh)... and josh goes "i think you like me" i said "well duh" and he goes "i think you REALLY like me" and i said "well damn i could have told you that" then he says " BABY, I think your falling for me" I blush...said shut up and stuck my head in the pillow...he took the pillow away from my face and said "i think i have already fell"...come on now...THAT IS THE SWEETEST THING EVER!!! then he stayed over again last night...i love it **SIGH**

Today- well today started off great...josh came in curled up with me and was just being him...then i got up and talked with him until he had to work and kissed him goodbye and then got a shower and im doing laundry now...later on we go hang with momma...i cant wait...

Well all i think ive bored yall enough ...im gonna go talk to you later

ROBS & BRITT-WARPED TOUR IN 56 DAYS...woot woot cant wait...grrrrrrrr baby grrrrrrrr....

LOVE YOU ALL
ALWAYS FOREVER AND TODAY
~Esha~

PS...Comment bitches lol




04/11/06--10:14: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 (chan 1812461)

ok heres my random update lol...i have been crazy busy ...theres some much going on its hard to write...but im just gonna go day by day

Friday- I went to mommas...she went out with bryan and her friends...i got custody of the car  josh didnt go to weatherford like he was supposed to...so he calle dme and i went and got him and brought him back to billys...billy...pops and josh drank and shawn came over ...josh almost passed out in the garage....i hung out then josh and i went to lay down...and he passed out...nothing big happened

Sat-  josh left for the rest of the weekend..he went to weatherford...we went to the Nascar Thunder Days thing...me mom bryan billy pops haley and heather...then daddy showed up and heather haley and i were up close to the stage and we watched the joe nichols and clay walker concert...OMG THEY ARE SO HOT IN PERSON!!!!...GIRLBONER...lol sat was also prom night...prom didnt turn out to be a great night for some people...but i promise things will get better...whatever happens is whats supposed to happen...then after the concert...i went home with dad after...

Sunday- ummm daddy got baptizied so we went to that...then we all went back to the house and cooked out and watched some of the race and just chilled...then i left with billy marilyn and pops and went back to there house and shawn met us over there later ...they all drank and just played pool and messed with mom all night by calling her phone 800 times lol...i had a crazy ass reaction...got a killer headache and i wanted to die...i went to bed and they all just hung out ...

Monday- umm i got taken to the Doctors... i found out that im severely allergic to any cheap fake metal...only silver and gold for me lol ...i broke out and swelled up like a balloon...they put me on some meds to help but if it doesnt get better next week i have to go in for injections...lol i hate needles lol id rather die lol umm then i went and hung out with mom and billy and marilyn and pops for the day...i went and got a new outfit for the concert ...its awesome!!!...and josh came back from weatherford..i didnt see him but he called

Today- josh called and woke me up ....im dealing with the affect of this med...and it sucks...im just chillin today until 4 cuz then we leave for the rascal flatts concert ...im so excited..my out fit rocks...i think bills mad at me cuz of me and josh...i still love bill always will ..this is a given...but i just dunno ...i just wish he would talk to me!!! but i cant force him too...

well all thats just some of the shit thats been happening...heres my person to person

Shawn- you and i will be friends forever...youve been the person i can talk to ...no matter what im always here just like you are for me...i know things a tough right now but eventually they will all come together...i love you superman mucho grande

Britt- i know things arent going good for you right now and we both are going through alot...but we will get through all of it TOGETHER...we will get through dads medical probs...broken friendships and trust...our falling apart family and relatiosship issues ...WE WILL BE FINE...as long as i have you and you have me WE can do anything...i promise sissy...i love you!!!

Robin- I miss you too cuz ....im having robin withdrawals...you really gotta come out and hang with us again but i will definitely see you on easter...i promise... and oh yeah petes body is to die for...omg i wanna do him lol and have his babies!!! lol well i love you and keep the countdown to warped tour rolling lol

Heather- girly things with leigh will be ok ... and you will get pregnant just give it time...i miss you so much and i cant wait to get there to see yall...i just want you to know that even though im so far im still always here for you...i love you sissy  and HI ROB!!! i guess i love you too lol jk i do cuz

Bill- i know you read this...you just dont comment ...i dunno really what to say to you...i love you i really do ...but put yourself in my position...i just dont know what else to say ..read your myspace message...i meant all of it

well all i think im FINALLY done...ill talk to yall later...
LOVE ALWAYS FOREVER & TODAY
~Esha~